MY LIFE.

please tell me no one remembers about this abandoned blog of mine. yes. apparently after leaving for so long and suddenly coming back meant nothing good at all.

why is it so that im landed in this state? why is it so that whatever things i do i gave my all , did my best but everything still went into the drain? i once had someone so dearly. we dint started off smooth sailing. she was at her lowest point of life but i came in. and ever since been there for next 2 years or so. all the shits she went through , and the needs she wanted. i gave my best even though she cant be there for me most of the times.but what did i got back in the end? someone who was there for merely 4 days. someone who merely sweet talk you about everything. someone who once tried to wreck us and someone whom cause all the fights between us. you turned your back against me for him. you could even say you wanted the both of us. what he did for the 4 days was comaprable to what i did for the 2 years ? you cant even decide who to keep even after all that ive been through with you. who was there when you couldnt walk out from your previous relationship? who was there for you when you got your results and you dint do very well? who was there for you to cry your hearts out? who was there for you to solve every problem you faced in life? who was the one who sacrificed so much just to be with you? who was the one who stood by you even at the toughest time ? who was the one who gave you countless chances no matter what you did?

you just kicked me aside. pretended that you care and left happily with him. you wanted me to fight for you just to gloat over your triumph. cause you never wanted to take me back either. you wanted me to go down on my knees and beg for you back. you wanted all the assurance from me. but did you gave me any ? did you told me things would seriously be better this time round after so much? no. cause you never even had the thought of wanting this back. you already left your heart with him. did i made you suffer all this when i first left ? did i made you beg for me even though i really cant take it anymore ? i was stupid. very very stupid. to actually turn back for you. why? cause i couldnt let it go. seeing you trying to get me back i just couldnt bear to. but look at what youve done to me now. leading me on to fight for you but at the same time happily having the fresh taste of new love. blaming that i told you there werent any reasons to be tgt anymore when you dint bother to tell me there is. lying that youre not happy with him when its written everywhere. meeting up. missing each other. saying you love each other. putting status on facebook.

why do you have to do this to me ? are you set out to crush me to ruin every pieces of me ? i cant believe that you actually could have the heart to do all these when i dint even have the thought of that. you'd seriously brought me down. as much as i wanted to get out of it i just couldnt. but i know you should be having the time of your life now with him even as i am typing this out. trying to cry it out so badly when i just couldnt.

why? sigh..

headed over to mediacorp to support farhan for SI. and CONGRATS TO HIM ! :D

                                                                                

i know im one week late in annoucing that IAP is finally past tense and no longer present tense ! IM FINALLY OUT OF THERE ! :D
so ya. we were needed to do an evaluation form or rather my supervisor do to assess us on our performance it was supposed to be a simple thing but my supv made it quite complicated. he made us photocopy 2 sets of it. the original one he keep for his own assess. out of the 2 photocopied ones , one is done by my partner ( aka peer appraisal) another one OUR OWN. very lol right. i cant stop breaking into laughter when i did my partner one. its so... FAKE ! hahaha

so so. after 3 months this is what my sup graded me :

Attitude 3/5 - satisfactory. i think hes just giving for the sake of giving lah.
Reliability 4/5 -good. duh. your hardworking chiongster always screw things up or do without using whats up there.
Qualtity 4/5 -good. of course ! fast and deadly. :P
Productivity 3/5 satisfactory. this is crap.
Initiative. 3/5 satisfactory. this is more crap.
Overall 4/5 Good (:

Comments : needs close supervision on work. (thats because hes so anal abt every single thing) attitude and initiative toward works need more effort for improvement( shut up okay. i don wan to repeat myself)

well thats all for IAP.


currently , im helping out at my uncle/s company dealing with security stuff again. i just cant get away from this so call market. hahha. but proud to say i enjoy my work there ! :DD nice working people. learnt quite alot from their own career since they are my uncle's friends who came to help out with this project. if only my IAP was there ~
OH OH ! sad to say something similar but less lethal happened here as compared to IAP.
i got scolded by an old granny this time who collects cardboard pieces. i kept throwing small ones and she complained saying its difficult for her to collect so many small ones as in hard to keep.if want throw throw those big ones.
for the next 5 mins i got nagged non stop. all i did was give an innocent face and try to appease her by saying i will find big ones for her. lol.
just what's wrong does cleaner have with me ? hmmm...



surprised surprised that you actually knew but still did something i hate. and i dont think you find it wrong.
ohwells ?

first you build the stacks up. next you start pulling out the chosen colour of your stick. you just need the slightest distraction and you sent the whole stacks tumbling down , destroying everything you built.  you still can build it back up for this instance but what about our life ? we don have so many sticks and time to re stack them back do we ?

hahah. i guess it serves a good reason not to dwell and weigh the tons & tons of factor all over again. ohwells ~

i seriously ought to kill myself. for once again i forgot abt my password. wth !

anyway. today's considered one of a better days uh. its a friday and my sup is on leave ! that spells W-O-O-H-O-O ~ :D
slacked quite abit and did some work with some peace and space. lol.
actually almost the whole company was ninja-fied. VP wasnt around and everyone practically either took long lunch break or best. not even in the office for the whole day ! so the whole place was our turf. Laugh Out Loud and Talk Out Loud. hahha.
well, the talk of the day was abt my sup. as all should know i have a bad relationship with my sup and the stupid anal cleaner. so we were sitting around planning abt taking revenge. for the cleaner it would be leaving all the biscuit crumps around and throwing unfinished coffee cups into all the different dustbin in the office. the most funniest one is my sup's one. we all know that my sup likes gardening and he has a mini garden out at the balcony. orchids was his fav i supposed cause hes always at the area. so my friend made a random suggestion.

nich: eh ky. i know you not very good with your sup right. i know what you can do to take your revenge. go burn all his pots out there at the last day !
me: LOL ! OMAGAWD YOURE SUCH A FUCKER ! HAHAHAHA

seriously i cant believe he could think of that luh. lol !

summed up the day with ping pong with jj. ahhaha.


ps// its a pity that things happened or changed at a wrong time. frustated though but ohwell i doubt im the biggest loser eh ? cause i don really lose out (:

pss// cant wait for 21 aug. SWISSOTEL  MERCHANT COURT ! heheh

pffftt. i cant believe it. even before i want to post abt something fucking pissed im already been pissed. i keep forgetting my password to log in to LJ. damn. nevermind. compared to what happened today this is just a minute of it. a mole out of a mountain.

seriously what da fuck do you want from me ? point 1. those unfinished coffeecups in my bin werent from me (there was only one from me. ONE ONLY) for fuck sake so dont accussed me of it all the time. this is the freaking first time i come across with cleaner who monitors what rubbish is being thrown into the bin. DAMN RIDICULOUS ! point 2. show some respect to the younger ones or at least some basic courtesy. talk nicely and not talk as though we are your slaves or whatever shit. fuck you. youre just a fucking cleaner. get that in your fucking pea brain (if you have one). your hole beneath your nose is for you to talk , speak up. not to bark and bitch and badmouth abt other ppl. you think we are freaks like you? got eyes hidden behind our back or head? to see if youre behind waiting for us to excuse ourselves for you to sweep our place or clear the bin ? FUCK YOU. OPEN YOUR FUCKING HOLE BITCH ! point3. WHO THE FUCK ON EARTH ARE YOU TO COMMENT ABT ME ? cross reference with point1 bold in red. im useless ? tsktsk. at least not as useless as you. cause i don have to sweep floors. i know this sounds mean but seriously you cross my line i'll show you whats behind that line youre crossing. and to the extent that you said that right straight at my face and pointing at me infront of eveyrone PLUS going to other department to badmouth abt me ? WTF IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU ? just because im always seen not doing work as compared to my OH-I-MUST-DO-WORK-ALL-THE-TIME partner means im useless ? fuck you. go get the facts right first okay. its not that im not doing anything but i got nothing to do or it would be im done with my work. i don do things slowly or do it repeatedly like my partner does. get it ? for this , it also applies to my supervisor. fucking don get whats up in your head man. throwing everything to him to do and left me with nothing ? except dismantling those condemned sets ? other than that im left with nothing to do. and if you think that im lazing around i seriously think theres seriously something wrong with you. and that chiong-ster partner of mine wants to stress himself with all the work by HIMSELF and not sharing the load with me. how great. gets pissed off and show attitude to supervisor. and supervisor is stupid enough to choose the wrong person to work for him. im not tryna show off. for at least i know i wont show my temper to my supervisor or anyone of higher superior level. i'll just get things done the way you want even if you keep changing WITHOUT A VOICE OF DISPLEASEMENT straight at you.
&& to my chiongster partner. you should really take up some leadership courses for your benefits. lesson one free for you from me.IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO A CERTAIN TASK GIVEN BY UPPER LEVEL DON PIN POINT IT TO OTHERS. AND THINK WITH YOUR PEA BRAIN BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY DECISION. fuck off

oh god. why is the company that im attached to so screwed up ?

my long absence doesnt mean theres any change to my life. in fact its quite the same as the previous entry ? lol.
and so 6 weeks have past and another 6 weeks more. boring ~ how i wish time could fast forward to all the pay days and then fast forward to 22 Aug. pfffttt. going to work is practically a chore and a bore. doing the same thing every single day. and worst. my chiong sua partner(best candadidate for scout or commando) wants to do everything and anything by himself. making me look so free and making me look like im lazing ard when it actually isnt the case. you expect two person to do a simple job ? dont make sense right ? but i think i gotta change strategy from tomorrow onwards. sounds like im going for war and its so tactical. zzz.

weekends always pass by so quickly. doesnt it has any patient to like at least wait and pass by slowly ? tsktsk.
anw. caught transformer 2 last night with jj. kinda impromptu. cause it was decided like at 10 ? dint want to coop at home on a freaking saturday night and just let it go to waste. awesome show it was. set aside the rumour that megan fox might be or maybe is a trans. SHES HOT ! omg ~ :X hahah. ohya. jj drove us btw. safe driver i can say. infact. TOO SAFE. lol. made me motivated to want to get my license and drive too cause it seem easy ? hahah. ohwells ~



damn. there's work tmr ):

its never what you do that determines everything. and everything would means theres 100&1 factors to it. you may have the first 100 but not the 101th which means its useless. lol